Whenever I see clients with young children, they always remark how physically demanding it is, I remember it well!! The running after them, the climbing through soft play areas, getting the paints out (although all you want to do is watch a nice film with a cup of tea)…the constant house proofing when you realise they can reach Nanny’s silver tray of crystal glasses (that’s another story!), you are on high alert all the time and it is soooo tiring.
Then you get to the teenage years……..Mmmmmm………. nothing quite prepares you for the stroppiness, ungratefulness, the demands, the dismissal of you, the looks, the mumbling, the inane arguments between siblings and YOU!………….the boundary pushing. It’s mentally exhausting!
At what point does a NO become YES, and you start letting go……just writing that sentence actually puts my stomach into knots (the Yes is happening in our house….so far so good), as by saying YES, you are letting the big wide world into their, what has been, relatively protected world.
Have I taught them the skills the need to deal with this world? Are they prepared for the dangers that await them and the choices they will have to make…..
My daughter cringes each time I drop her off, beeping my horn several times and shout “Make good choices!”….she finds it utterly embarrassing, I think her friends find it funny…. I don’t really care if they don’t I crack myself up every time, hahaha!!! BUT laughing aside, the sentiment is there…..MAKE GOOD CHOICES….
These choices will have to be made by your teen, and there’s no point putting your head in the sand:
DO I DOWN THAT DRINK BECAUSE MY FRIENDS HAVE TOLD ME TO (not knowing what’s in the that drink. Date/Drug Rape happens a lot, mostly not reported due to the shame the person feels, boys or girls, they feel shame and stupidity….trust me, I’m seeing young adults who are dealing with this and surfaces everyday within their lives, driving them a different path than what they expected and wanted).
DO I TAKE THAT PILL? EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS OK…… (that one pill could end their life within minutes, people react differently to drugs and with some their body overheats…they literally cook to death. Nobody really knows what goes into these drugs…..they are a killer, simple).
DO I SLEEP WITH THAY BOY/GIRL? I HAVEN’T GOT ANY PROTECTION, NOR HAVE THEY, IT’ll BE FINE…..(no it won’t…..pregnancy and the rise of STD’s, Chlamydia being the most common, making females infertile… )
MAKE GOOD CHOICES……….
By talking to your teenagers about such things is the only way to prepare them, cover every scenario that you have experienced and learnt from, let them know that what ever bad choices they make, you are there for them, and they are not alone…..By preparing them for the big wide world, what more can you do….other than stalk them!!! I’ve known this to happen!! TALKING not STALKING!!!
So when they ask you if they can go to this party, or go to a festival, think are they ready….is it time to let go? Giving them all the tools you have in your tool box, to survive in any event. Trust them…they are going to do things that you don’t want to know about, but they have made that choice, hopefully that choice will not have a significant impact, you will notice if it does…change of mood, withdrawn or wild reckless behaviour, appearance, eating habits, sleeping patterns (to name but a few symptoms of depression/anxiety).
Tell them simply to talk, to you, friends, family, teachers, teaching support staff, Dr
Always tell them…..MAKE GOOD CHOICES (and beep you horn several times as you drive off!) and that you love them, no matter what.
Hope this is helpful, you are not alone.
Love and Warmth to all!
#teenagers #angst #choices #drugs #drink #sex #talking #depression #anxiety #suicide