Shame….why do you keep popping up?

Shame is the emption that accompanies your inner critic’s thoughts that you are somehow broken, inadequate or not worthy or just plain wrong inside.

You would have learnt shame from a very young age, either being told you simply weren’t good enough by Parents or peers, or through how you were treated if you were given the impression you were a disappointment.  You take these learnings through to adult hood and can be triggered by events or generally by low self – esteem.

Shame is a torturous emotion, and the most disturbing emotion we will ever experience because it suggests that there is a problem our “self”, our true being.  This feeling can manifest itself in damaging behaviours:

  • eating disorders
  • alcoholism
  • drug addiction
  • self harm
  • and the ultimate damage to oneself….suicide…..no coming back from this and there is always a turning point, but without the right help, that person never gets to it, wanting the pain and the shame to end now.

One of the most common misconceptions about shame is that if you feel it you must have done something shameful…….THIS SIMPLY ISN’T TRUE.  Shame is connected to mid-level fears of humiliation, vulnerability, failure, abuse, rejection and disapproval.  You have probably come to realise now that many of our judgements about what will cause us to experience those feelings are flawed, because they come from our inner critic……OUR INNER CRITIC IS A CRUEL IDIOT!!

You can either choose to hold on to that shame or decide that this is the day you seek help, to talk about it and find the path you need to follow in order to move on and begin to love yourself.

Make the choice today to start that journey, closing the door behind your shame, walking through a new door into new beginnings.

Let me help you open your new door……

Love and Warmth

Amanda

anxiety-woman

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